Are You a Coastguard Obsessive?

Are you a Coastguard Obsessive?
Based on Esquire Magazine’s Are you a Gym Tool? http://www.esquire.co.uk/2012/01/the-list-are-you-a-gym-tool/

So, you like to ‘save lives at sea and along the coast’. But at what point does this become the behaviour of a rescue-obsessed person who is so focused on saving lives that he needs to get a life? Here are the warning signs.

1. You don’t go for beach walks, you complete local knowledge exercises.
2. You brought your pager and some cliff line on your first date with the person you ended up marrying. Just in case.
3. You have your own mug in the Coastguard Station kitchen. And it’s got your team rank inscribed on it.
4. You have a favourite brand of government-issue shirt.
5. You only wear white shirts if they have epaulettes and a radio-clip above the pockets.
6. When your wife shows you how to operate a new piece of household equipment, you add this to your Competencies Chart.
7. You have your own supply of ‘performance clothing’.
8. You insist on wearing ‘performance clothing’.
9. You haven’t yet decided whether Goretex is better than Hydravent.
10. You know that PPE means ‘Personal Protection Equipment’, not ‘Politics, Philosophy and Economics’, and yet you are unsurprised that several top universities offer a degree in PPE.
11. You don’t like defining people by radio call-sign, but you know it is an efficient means of communication.
12. You’ve introduced yourself to people by your team call-sign even when you’re not using your radio.
13. You think your training record is an overly simplistic definition of your personal capabilities, but nonetheless you update it religiously.
14. You have a favourite seat in the crew room. It has a good view of the TV and is near the kettle.
15. You know this really good shop which specialises in fleece and goretex coats.
16. You once tried mud rescue training but you didn’t really like it.
17. You hold an opinion on the efficacy of compression-only resuscitation.
18. You have your own resuscitation dummy.
19. You secretly hate sand and water.
20. In your Facebook profile picture you’re wearing oilskins and a cliff helmet and staring into the middle distance looking out for helicopters.
21. You have the theme to Baywatch as your ringtone.
22. You have lengths of rope here and there at home and at work in case the urge to practise your knot-tying skills should strike.
23. You tried martial arts but later reflected ‘Did it really challenge me enough?’
24. You are secretly thrilled when your pager vibrates.
25. Sometimes when you're out walking, little old ladies point at you and nudge each other and say 'There's that man who saves people.' And that makes you feel really good.
26. You can name all the rocky outcrops along your section of the coast, and occasionally do so in your sleep.
27. You think David Hasselhoff is misunderstood.
28. You’ve placed a small rucksack of PPE in your wife or girlfriend’s car. And you’re secretly quite offended when she laughs at this.
29. You regularly use the military phonetic alphabet to spell words, or give grid references instead of helpful geographical directions.
30. You run a Facebook page dedicated to your team, and you lurk on other teams’ pages just in case they might be better and you might need to beat them.
31. You moved your wedding date or venue because it coincided with a training or PR event.
32. You use the competency section of the training manual to plan your holidays.
33. Most of the beautiful sunset photographs in your digital photo library were taken at evening cliff training sessions.
34. You’re reading this on a sea-rescue related Facebook page or website or blog.


(With apologies to Husband)